Wednesday, March 28, 2012
Tuesday, March 27, 2012
waiting!
I have so few clothes (one of the reasons that I'm looking for something specific on which I'll elaborate more later) so it's exciting today to be waiting for some more to arrive. Officially they have been dispatched but I imagine that could mean anytime today or tomorrow.
So what is on its way?
This gorgeous suspender belt,
these panties,
plus these,
this dress,
and this one,
and finally (some stockings to go with the belt).
I'm scared to leave the house in case I miss the delivery!!!
So what is on its way?
This gorgeous suspender belt,
these panties,
plus these,
this dress,
and finally (some stockings to go with the belt).
I'm scared to leave the house in case I miss the delivery!!!
Monday, March 26, 2012
statement of intent pt 2
I'd been too nervous to look him in the eye when he'd let me through the door earlier and I was still shaking now but as he walked back into the room I saw him properly for the first time.
He was so much bigger in the flesh than I'd imagined from the photo's we'd shared online. Taller than me, broader than me. Slim and muscular beneath his shirt and trousers he exuded masculinity and strength. His eyes bore through me.
"Your clothes in the bag?"
I nodded.
"You are allowed to speak when I ask you a question Amber. Can I see what you've brought with you?"
I cleared my throat in the hope it would stop my voice from wobbling, "Yes sir." I handed him the bag. He unzipped it and poured it's contents onto the varnished floor. My black dress, blue heels, panties, stockings, bra and wig in a tangled mess between us both. My lipstick rolling away into the corner of the room. I looked down at it all, ashamed of how cheap it looked now. My cheeks burning red as I wished I'd had time to bolster my wardrobe ahead of this moment. That I hadn't bought so inexpensively, that I'd known exactly what size shoe I was, that I owned more than just one measly tube of lipstick and some mascara that didn't clog up my lashes and make them clump together.
He picked up each item individually, inspecting the labels, holding them up in front of me as if to gauge how they might look on the frightened would be 'girl' stood in the centre of his living room. I expected him to just toss them back at my feet as he moved from one garment to the next but he carefully folded each one and placed them tidily on the black leather sofa behind him.
"You might need to go shopping Amber but I think you'll look quite pretty in these." I blushed and a jolt of excitement rushed through my body. For the first time so far imagining that I may have done something to please him.
"Take your clothes off please Amber. I'd like to see what we've got to work with."
"What here?"
He shushed me, placing a finger momentarily on my lips, "Not unless I ask you a question or am obviously trying to engage you in conversation. Understand?"
"Yes sir".
"Good girl," he sat down on the sofa next to the pile of clothes, "now strip down. Slowly."
I kicked off my shoes first, prising them off my too big feet with my toes and wriggling out of them. I bent down and pulled off my socks.
"Amber, I want you to look at me while you undress." I looked up from my feet into his eyes. They locked onto mine and I watched them flicker up and down my body as I unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it to the ground behind. My fingers fumbled nervously with the belt and buttons of my jeans for an age before they managed to loosen the denim. They fell to the floor around my ankles and I stepped out of them, naked except for my underwear. As he watched me I was so glad I'd taken the time this morning to freshly shave and moisturise my chest, armpits and legs.
I stood there in my pants watching him appraise my flesh. I was acutely aware of the excess around my waistline I was trying to shift, my small breasts, my forearms that whilst not overly dark or hirsute were still in contrast to the rest of my smooth skin. I could hear the blood pumping in my veins and I tingled all over with excitement. I imagined my self stirring down below but when I glanced down I saw with relief that I was still not visually aroused.
He frowned slightly and I gulped down a nervous breath. "I asked you to strip Amber. Why are you still wearing underwear?"
"I thought ..."
"Don't think. Just do. Please."
My pants fell to the floor and I stepped out of them.
"Thank you."
He stood up and approached me slowly. He knelt down to retrieve my clothes and this time without showing any respect for them he tossed them into the corner of the room out of my line of sight. He spent a long time inspecting my body, prodding the flesh at my midriff, looking for hairs I might have missed whilst shaving.
"Turn around please."
I shuffled around on the spot to face the television in the corner of the room. My clothes lay in a heap on the floor behind it. I felt his breath on my neck as he leaned in close. His fingertips brushing the crack at the base of my spine. "I think you could be a very beautiful girl Amber. You've already pleased me so much."
I felt my penis twitch and I tried to push the thoughts gathering in my mind away scared he might not find my erect state feminine or attractive.
"I need to make a couple of phone-calls. Why don't you watch a little television while you're waiting." He reached around me and I saw the remote in his hand. The screen sprang to life. A pretty girl was being slowly fucked from behind, her eyes wide and her mouth twisted in way that construed discomfort and overwhelming pleasure combined perfectly. A beautifully trimmed and shaved cock hung between her legs rocking back and forth like a metronome as a heavily muscled man thrust into her relentlessly. "Put these on for me please Amber." He laid my heels out on the floor and I stepped into them carefully. "There are just two rules. Do not move from where you are now and do not touch yourself. Do you understand?"
I nodded. "I want to hear you tell me Amber. Do you understand?"
"Yes sir, I understand."
"Good girl. I'll be back shortly." He lightly tapped my bottom with his palm and I heard him cross the room and the door opening and then shutting closed behind him.
The room filled with moans and squeals of pleasure as I found my gaze locked on the action onscreen. The camera switched between her face and a shot that angled down on her pert ass. Strong hands gripped her waistline and a thick veined cock slipped in and out of her stretched pussy, glistening in the harsh glare of studio lights. Occasionally he muttered some words of encouragement, "That's good baby," "Do you like that you dirty slut?". She just moaned more loudly in response. I tried to imagine how it would feel to be as desirable and sexual as she so obviously was. I wished it could be more than just an insane dream.
His breath sharpened and he started to thrust more angrily into her, her squeals higher and with a mild but not unpleasant sounding degree of pain mingled in with the pleasure. His fingers clawed at her flesh, and his body shuddered as he climaxed inside of her.
The camera lingered on her ass as he withdrew carefully. His endless cock revealing its length as if in slow motion. A rivulet of cum dribbled down onto her shaven balls, increasing in volume as his cock left her unplugged the flow.
I could sense cum dripping from the end of my cock, hard and erect and pointing in the direction of the screen. I reached down and touched it with a fingertip and then lifted my hand to my lips to taste it.
"I said no touching."
I nearly jumped out of my skin momentarily losing balance on my heels. I felt his strong hands on me in an instant, steadying me stopping me from falling over. As I twisted I saw the door to the room was still closed. He'd never left, just stood watching me. I felt ashamed I hadn't been able to follow even the simplest of instructions.
He held me steady. Facing me he glanced down at my crotch.
"I see you enjoyed the film." He let go and sat down on the sofa. "Come here."
Unsteadily I tottered over in my heels. "Turn around Amber." I turned, my ass at his eye level. "Now spread your legs for me slightly and bend forwards."
I inched my feet apart and carefully tipped my body over. I felt a hand run softly up my left thigh and rest on my buttock. A thumb pulled at my flesh exposing my pussy. It massaged me gently, pressing against the muscle.
His other hand joined in, slick with what I imagined was lube. A finger slowly worked its way inside of my tight hole. My muscle contracting tightly around it as it entered. "Try and relax Amber, it'll be a little sore for a moment but once its inside you'll feel much better I promise." His finger, having loosened me a little slipped back out and I felt something larger pressed against me. Silicon and plastered with lube it stretched me as it slowly entered. I gasped in pain as its bulbous head forced its way inside of me. And then in an instant the pain was gone as the base of the plug slotted up against my buttocks. I could feel it's girth filling me up nicely.
"See that wasn't too bad was it?" He patted me firmly on the behind and I felt the tip of the plug press deeper into me. I yelped out. "Do you like how that feels?"
"Yes sir."
"Good girl. Now follow me. Slowly though. We wouldn't want that plug to slip out of your pretty bottom would we?"
He stood up and started towards the door. I began to follow. He shook his head at me and smiled, "Bring your clothes Amber, we can't have you stood around naked all day can we? All these draughts, you'll catch your death."
I scooped up my clothes from the sofa and followed him into the hall.
He was so much bigger in the flesh than I'd imagined from the photo's we'd shared online. Taller than me, broader than me. Slim and muscular beneath his shirt and trousers he exuded masculinity and strength. His eyes bore through me.
"Your clothes in the bag?"
I nodded.
"You are allowed to speak when I ask you a question Amber. Can I see what you've brought with you?"
I cleared my throat in the hope it would stop my voice from wobbling, "Yes sir." I handed him the bag. He unzipped it and poured it's contents onto the varnished floor. My black dress, blue heels, panties, stockings, bra and wig in a tangled mess between us both. My lipstick rolling away into the corner of the room. I looked down at it all, ashamed of how cheap it looked now. My cheeks burning red as I wished I'd had time to bolster my wardrobe ahead of this moment. That I hadn't bought so inexpensively, that I'd known exactly what size shoe I was, that I owned more than just one measly tube of lipstick and some mascara that didn't clog up my lashes and make them clump together.
He picked up each item individually, inspecting the labels, holding them up in front of me as if to gauge how they might look on the frightened would be 'girl' stood in the centre of his living room. I expected him to just toss them back at my feet as he moved from one garment to the next but he carefully folded each one and placed them tidily on the black leather sofa behind him.
"You might need to go shopping Amber but I think you'll look quite pretty in these." I blushed and a jolt of excitement rushed through my body. For the first time so far imagining that I may have done something to please him.
"Take your clothes off please Amber. I'd like to see what we've got to work with."
"What here?"
He shushed me, placing a finger momentarily on my lips, "Not unless I ask you a question or am obviously trying to engage you in conversation. Understand?"
"Yes sir".
"Good girl," he sat down on the sofa next to the pile of clothes, "now strip down. Slowly."
I kicked off my shoes first, prising them off my too big feet with my toes and wriggling out of them. I bent down and pulled off my socks.
"Amber, I want you to look at me while you undress." I looked up from my feet into his eyes. They locked onto mine and I watched them flicker up and down my body as I unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it to the ground behind. My fingers fumbled nervously with the belt and buttons of my jeans for an age before they managed to loosen the denim. They fell to the floor around my ankles and I stepped out of them, naked except for my underwear. As he watched me I was so glad I'd taken the time this morning to freshly shave and moisturise my chest, armpits and legs.
I stood there in my pants watching him appraise my flesh. I was acutely aware of the excess around my waistline I was trying to shift, my small breasts, my forearms that whilst not overly dark or hirsute were still in contrast to the rest of my smooth skin. I could hear the blood pumping in my veins and I tingled all over with excitement. I imagined my self stirring down below but when I glanced down I saw with relief that I was still not visually aroused.
He frowned slightly and I gulped down a nervous breath. "I asked you to strip Amber. Why are you still wearing underwear?"
"I thought ..."
"Don't think. Just do. Please."
My pants fell to the floor and I stepped out of them.
"Thank you."
He stood up and approached me slowly. He knelt down to retrieve my clothes and this time without showing any respect for them he tossed them into the corner of the room out of my line of sight. He spent a long time inspecting my body, prodding the flesh at my midriff, looking for hairs I might have missed whilst shaving.
"Turn around please."
I shuffled around on the spot to face the television in the corner of the room. My clothes lay in a heap on the floor behind it. I felt his breath on my neck as he leaned in close. His fingertips brushing the crack at the base of my spine. "I think you could be a very beautiful girl Amber. You've already pleased me so much."
I felt my penis twitch and I tried to push the thoughts gathering in my mind away scared he might not find my erect state feminine or attractive.
"I need to make a couple of phone-calls. Why don't you watch a little television while you're waiting." He reached around me and I saw the remote in his hand. The screen sprang to life. A pretty girl was being slowly fucked from behind, her eyes wide and her mouth twisted in way that construed discomfort and overwhelming pleasure combined perfectly. A beautifully trimmed and shaved cock hung between her legs rocking back and forth like a metronome as a heavily muscled man thrust into her relentlessly. "Put these on for me please Amber." He laid my heels out on the floor and I stepped into them carefully. "There are just two rules. Do not move from where you are now and do not touch yourself. Do you understand?"
I nodded. "I want to hear you tell me Amber. Do you understand?"
"Yes sir, I understand."
"Good girl. I'll be back shortly." He lightly tapped my bottom with his palm and I heard him cross the room and the door opening and then shutting closed behind him.
The room filled with moans and squeals of pleasure as I found my gaze locked on the action onscreen. The camera switched between her face and a shot that angled down on her pert ass. Strong hands gripped her waistline and a thick veined cock slipped in and out of her stretched pussy, glistening in the harsh glare of studio lights. Occasionally he muttered some words of encouragement, "That's good baby," "Do you like that you dirty slut?". She just moaned more loudly in response. I tried to imagine how it would feel to be as desirable and sexual as she so obviously was. I wished it could be more than just an insane dream.
His breath sharpened and he started to thrust more angrily into her, her squeals higher and with a mild but not unpleasant sounding degree of pain mingled in with the pleasure. His fingers clawed at her flesh, and his body shuddered as he climaxed inside of her.
The camera lingered on her ass as he withdrew carefully. His endless cock revealing its length as if in slow motion. A rivulet of cum dribbled down onto her shaven balls, increasing in volume as his cock left her unplugged the flow.
I could sense cum dripping from the end of my cock, hard and erect and pointing in the direction of the screen. I reached down and touched it with a fingertip and then lifted my hand to my lips to taste it.
"I said no touching."
I nearly jumped out of my skin momentarily losing balance on my heels. I felt his strong hands on me in an instant, steadying me stopping me from falling over. As I twisted I saw the door to the room was still closed. He'd never left, just stood watching me. I felt ashamed I hadn't been able to follow even the simplest of instructions.
He held me steady. Facing me he glanced down at my crotch.
"I see you enjoyed the film." He let go and sat down on the sofa. "Come here."
Unsteadily I tottered over in my heels. "Turn around Amber." I turned, my ass at his eye level. "Now spread your legs for me slightly and bend forwards."
I inched my feet apart and carefully tipped my body over. I felt a hand run softly up my left thigh and rest on my buttock. A thumb pulled at my flesh exposing my pussy. It massaged me gently, pressing against the muscle.
His other hand joined in, slick with what I imagined was lube. A finger slowly worked its way inside of my tight hole. My muscle contracting tightly around it as it entered. "Try and relax Amber, it'll be a little sore for a moment but once its inside you'll feel much better I promise." His finger, having loosened me a little slipped back out and I felt something larger pressed against me. Silicon and plastered with lube it stretched me as it slowly entered. I gasped in pain as its bulbous head forced its way inside of me. And then in an instant the pain was gone as the base of the plug slotted up against my buttocks. I could feel it's girth filling me up nicely.
"See that wasn't too bad was it?" He patted me firmly on the behind and I felt the tip of the plug press deeper into me. I yelped out. "Do you like how that feels?"
"Yes sir."
"Good girl. Now follow me. Slowly though. We wouldn't want that plug to slip out of your pretty bottom would we?"
He stood up and started towards the door. I began to follow. He shook his head at me and smiled, "Bring your clothes Amber, we can't have you stood around naked all day can we? All these draughts, you'll catch your death."
I scooped up my clothes from the sofa and followed him into the hall.
statement of intent
My boss was talking at me again but I wasn't listening. I filtered out his dull monotone, as per usual, allowing myself to catch the odd word or phrase in case he paused for my approval or some grunt of acknowledgment from me of understanding and comprehension. He hardly ever did but I still had my radar out for buzzwords and company catchphrases.
I watched his dull mouth with its perfect teeth flap, his eyes wide like a calf being led to slaughter. Wet tacky pupils reflecting the cold glow of his TFT that no doubt displayed the ubiquitous spreadsheet which gave birth to these motivational monologues.
I wondered what it would be like to be spit-roasted. Down on all fours, knees sunken in plush carpet, legs spread wide, back arched. One killer heel discarded, the remnants of a hit and run on the catwalk, the second still clinging to my left foot. Stockings laddered and torn, thong pulled to one side, bra open and hanging from my chest as I'm filled to bursting point from both ends.
Two faceless hard and glistening bodies thrusting their wide angry cocks into my willing body. The taste of cum at the back of my throat, my tight pussy burning and slick from spit and lube.
I felt my own cock stir in the Sloggi's I'd pulled on before rushing out the house this morning, savouring the sensation of strained muscle tugging hard against the restrictive fabric of my panties.
I knew spit-roasting was a distant and perhaps even impossible fantasy but then that was what made fantasies so powerful. The realisation they may never be fulfilled.
I had a sense I needed to be trained first. Gently moulded and plied; stretched and cajoled into being the girl I so desperately desired to be. Taken under the wing of someone gentle but firm, someone who knew how a good girl should act and be treated.
I imagined my heart pounding as I knocked on their door for the first time. My cock shrunken with fear in my panties, climbing up inside of my body as I sometimes wished it would. Jumping out of my skin as the door opened and they stood there.
"Amber?"
Just a nod, terrified my voice would crack and give my nervousness away?
"Come in." Stepping over the threshold into the house of someone I'd chatted to so many times online, fantasised about as I lay there struggling to get to sleep. Painfully aware of how heavily my 'maleness' was being scrutinised and assessed with regards to how easily it could be stripped away from me. Feeling that no amount of make-up or fancy clothing was going to be good enough to even pass muster under that steely gaze.
"This way." Led into the front room. Wooden polished floorboards. Curtains open, daylight streaming in through flimsy lace drapes. The world carrying on as normal on the street outside. My world on the cusp of collapsing and altering irretrievably around me.
"Stand there, I'll be back in a minute," pointing to a spot in the centre of the room, "no, not there. An inch or two over to the left please." The 'please' polite enough but like a school teacher, firm and with the unspoken implication that any real choice on my part was not really up for negotiation. I shuffled over and got my first smile as a reward. "Good girl. This could work. Maybe."
They left the room and me, swaying slightly afraid I might faint, stood facing the door they exited from. A clock ticked somewhere on the wall behind me and I wanted to turn toward it and count the interminable seconds as I waited but already I had a sense I should be obeying and not doing anything without invitation or a cue to do so first.
I lost count somewhere around the 500 mark, the clock slowly drowned out by the creak of floorboards in unseen rooms, doors opening, footfalls in the hallway outside the room. Twice I saw the door handle begin to turn and my heart leapt into my mouth but both times they obviously thought better than to come back into the room or remembered they had something else to attend to before me.
My body felt as if was tingling with electricity. The bag on my back, containing my meagre wardrobe and the shoddy wig I'd regretted buying the instance I'd greedily torn it from it's packaging, was like a sack of lead pressing down on me. I prayed for the door to open and to get some idea of what might happen next but equally I also just wanted to open the window, climb out and run away as fast as my legs could carry me.
It was almost as if they could sense I was on the verge of wavering, knew what thoughts were running through my mind. Because that was when the door opened and they stepped back into the room.
I watched his dull mouth with its perfect teeth flap, his eyes wide like a calf being led to slaughter. Wet tacky pupils reflecting the cold glow of his TFT that no doubt displayed the ubiquitous spreadsheet which gave birth to these motivational monologues.
I wondered what it would be like to be spit-roasted. Down on all fours, knees sunken in plush carpet, legs spread wide, back arched. One killer heel discarded, the remnants of a hit and run on the catwalk, the second still clinging to my left foot. Stockings laddered and torn, thong pulled to one side, bra open and hanging from my chest as I'm filled to bursting point from both ends.
Two faceless hard and glistening bodies thrusting their wide angry cocks into my willing body. The taste of cum at the back of my throat, my tight pussy burning and slick from spit and lube.
I felt my own cock stir in the Sloggi's I'd pulled on before rushing out the house this morning, savouring the sensation of strained muscle tugging hard against the restrictive fabric of my panties.
I knew spit-roasting was a distant and perhaps even impossible fantasy but then that was what made fantasies so powerful. The realisation they may never be fulfilled.
I had a sense I needed to be trained first. Gently moulded and plied; stretched and cajoled into being the girl I so desperately desired to be. Taken under the wing of someone gentle but firm, someone who knew how a good girl should act and be treated.
I imagined my heart pounding as I knocked on their door for the first time. My cock shrunken with fear in my panties, climbing up inside of my body as I sometimes wished it would. Jumping out of my skin as the door opened and they stood there.
"Amber?"
Just a nod, terrified my voice would crack and give my nervousness away?
"Come in." Stepping over the threshold into the house of someone I'd chatted to so many times online, fantasised about as I lay there struggling to get to sleep. Painfully aware of how heavily my 'maleness' was being scrutinised and assessed with regards to how easily it could be stripped away from me. Feeling that no amount of make-up or fancy clothing was going to be good enough to even pass muster under that steely gaze.
"This way." Led into the front room. Wooden polished floorboards. Curtains open, daylight streaming in through flimsy lace drapes. The world carrying on as normal on the street outside. My world on the cusp of collapsing and altering irretrievably around me.
"Stand there, I'll be back in a minute," pointing to a spot in the centre of the room, "no, not there. An inch or two over to the left please." The 'please' polite enough but like a school teacher, firm and with the unspoken implication that any real choice on my part was not really up for negotiation. I shuffled over and got my first smile as a reward. "Good girl. This could work. Maybe."
They left the room and me, swaying slightly afraid I might faint, stood facing the door they exited from. A clock ticked somewhere on the wall behind me and I wanted to turn toward it and count the interminable seconds as I waited but already I had a sense I should be obeying and not doing anything without invitation or a cue to do so first.
I lost count somewhere around the 500 mark, the clock slowly drowned out by the creak of floorboards in unseen rooms, doors opening, footfalls in the hallway outside the room. Twice I saw the door handle begin to turn and my heart leapt into my mouth but both times they obviously thought better than to come back into the room or remembered they had something else to attend to before me.
My body felt as if was tingling with electricity. The bag on my back, containing my meagre wardrobe and the shoddy wig I'd regretted buying the instance I'd greedily torn it from it's packaging, was like a sack of lead pressing down on me. I prayed for the door to open and to get some idea of what might happen next but equally I also just wanted to open the window, climb out and run away as fast as my legs could carry me.
It was almost as if they could sense I was on the verge of wavering, knew what thoughts were running through my mind. Because that was when the door opened and they stepped back into the room.
all will be revealed
I have new intentions for my blogging life which is why I have resurrected a very old blogger account and am setting up home here again - this time to actually blog!
Some pictures to make you feel at home:
Some pictures to make you feel at home:
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